Margrit Coates’ angelic Christmas
Our second Christmas extract is taken from Margrit Coates’ Angel Pets and describes a magical encounter with some roe deer:
“It was the first Christmas at home after my mother died, and my sister and I were not looking forward to it. Christmas focusses you on members of your family and when they are not there the loss is especially difficult to bear. Over the years we had fallen into the habit of celebrating on Christmas Eve in the European way, as my mother used to do in her homeland. We would dress up in our best clothes and have a special meal whilst playing seasonal music. On Christmas Day, in the morning, we would open our presents before going for a walk, then back to watch some favourite TV programmes whilst eating home-made cake.
Waking up that Christmas Eve morning, I felt a raw ache inside me. Yes, my mother had been back to see me several times since her passing, but I wanted the physical pleasure of giving her a lovingly selected gift which would make her smile and say, ‘Thank you, darling. Happy Christmas!’ Pulling open the curtains, I saw them. By the edge of the white frost-covered lawn, lying down, quite relaxed and chewing, were two roe deer. One was an adult, the other a youngster. Deer sometimes visit our front garden but I had never before seen them in the back part, owing to the thick, wide hedge that runs along the bottom, acting as a barrier to the fields and woods beyond. I had to rub my eyes to make sure that I was not dreaming.
Pulling on some clothes, I went downstairs to take a closer look, for the deer were only about five metres from the house. I wondered what would happen when I went out to fill the birdfeeders and fully expected them to move off, for roe deer are shy and suspicious creatures if you get too close. I often come across them whilst out walking and they always bound off when approached.
My creeping along with a jug of peanuts, some fat balls and a bowl of birdseed did not scare off the deer. They showed absolutely no sign of being bothered, not even staring at me. It was as if we were part of the same family and I was no threat. It was then that I knew what was happening. Of course, the two deer were mother and daughter! It was no coincidence that they had arrived in my garden, seemingly from nowhere, on this Christmas Eve. It was a sign from my mother that she was with us, and understood our longing. Unable to physically return, she had sent messengers from the community of nature. It was a Christmas message with intense meaning, brought not by a commercial card, but by angels of the wild: ‘I am always with you. Unseen forces attach us and that link cannot be broken. Remember that we are all part of one family, whether we are human or non-human. Look, feel and listen and you will know it.’
What astounded me, and still does, is that wild animals were able to respond to a cosmic request to come as comforters. How did they hear this message from my mother, and know where to come and what they had to do? They did, though, and I could only marvel at the magic of it all.
Carefully, I placed some soft apples from the Christmas feast on the lawn and after I had stepped back the deer came to nibble at them, before lying down again in the shade of a variegated bush, the youngster tucking herself close to her mother.
My sister arrived with her husband and, surveying the scene, she simply said, ‘Mother is here.’ As it got dark I set the table, lit candles and we sat down to toast absent friends. Suddenly, illuminated by the light from the room, we noticed that the Christmas visitors had drawn closer. In hushed tones, we said, ‘Look, they’re here.’ Two faces peered in the floor-length window. Standing watching us, side by side, were the mother and daughter deer.
The atmosphere in the room was beautiful to say the least, with an overwhelming sense of different dimensions blending, as all life – past, present and future – became as one. After a few minutes of gazing in, the deer moved on into the night and we assumed that they had left for their life in the distant woods. An owl then hooted from the willow tree as we ate our meal and pulled crackers. Next morning, Christmas Day, they were still there, lying under the same bush. Throwing open the curtains I had expected to miss them, for a feeling of deep connection had already formed between us. Their continued presence was a wonderful sight to wake up to, and the best present my sister and I could have that year. The pair wandered around, coming right past the windows as we breakfasted, and the energy that they brought lit the place up. Life was continuous and these wild creatures were the harbinger of that good news.
Our entertainment that day became watching the deer in the garden as they wandered around, before going back to lie in their favourite spot at the edge of the lawn. I can’t describe in mere words how special and memorable it made our days together that year.
The next morning, my sister stood by the window and said her goodbyes to the Christmas visitors. After she had driven off with her husband I went into the kitchen to clear up. It was then that I noticed that the deer had gone too.
Holding out my hands towards the field and the woods, I thanked the deer for spending time with us – a magical gift. I then sent out a prayer that they should be safe, for life as a wild animal is full of dangers from human predators. I have never seen them since, but their message lives on in my soul. They had even been happy about photos being taken, and every now and again I look at their images, blowing these special angels kisses, to reach them wherever they now may be.”
